Red lighters

Driver type:	"Crazy mo' fo'"s Fools
Mentality:	Brainless
Speed:	up to 100mph
Vehicle:	Something large
I-spy guide:	Crazy red distant disco lights

"How to drive without a brain."

The red light driver shares many traits with the repmobile, yet there is one key element that singles out this type of driver as a red lighter rather than a rep: stupidity. A red lighter is a genuine dunce who knows no better than to follow the car in front too closely.

Typical attire

There are many reasons why the single cell acts in this way. One of the more common reasons is down to the good old British habit of pretending to be able to queue. The UK population will appear to be right at home in a good old fashioned queue, but the 3 foot 100mph gap to the car in front indicates a more sinister thought process in the single-celled brain. They secretly don't want anyone else to get in front even if it means eventual death. Time and again I can't believe how many people try to close the gap still further as soon as a middle-laner indicates they want to join the queue in the big boys' lane. Hell, they could miss Ricky beating Bianca to death with a haddock in Eastenders! God forbid they might get home 10 seconds later.

If there was a prize for the most dangerous of all motorway drivers, then the red-lighters would win by a mile. These are the reckless idiots that tailgate the car in front, closer than most people would park yet still travelling at three figure speeds.

This is one option

One tiny adjustment in speed ahead causes the infamous red lights to glow, creating a wave of over-cautious speed adjustment to travel back down the motorway. If the queue is long enough then the traffic a mile or two behind the red lighter will be going backwards.

Eventually the red lighter will end up injured, dead, or have such a scare that they will think twice about being so close to the car in front. It's not a nice set of options in my opinion.